Richard Louv, author of “Last Child in the Woods”, has coined a new phrase – “Nature-deficit disorder” and it’s so appropriate. There’s an absolute disconnect between most modern children and the great outdoors. Almost a decade after uncovering a generational problem, he’s confirmed the ultimate cure – regular doses of nature! He’s also labeled it “Vitamin N”.

Repeated research confirms that time spent in outdoor green spaces is good for bodies, brains and souls. “It is believed to improve mental and physical health, cognitive skills, sensory development and learning.” Duh! Ya think?! Any parent on the ball should know this but too many city dwellers hooked on digital devices have lost touch with nature’s soul and the real world. They’ve simply tuned themselves out and it has affected their kids too. Today’s children are somewhat ‘nature deprived’.

Louv’s most recent book is entitled – “Vitamin N: 500 Ways to Enrich the Health and Happiness and Your Family and Community”. He believes, “As children spend more hours in the digital world blocking out their senses to focus on a screen, nature is more important than ever as an antidote.” Its not complicated. All that’s required is a romp into nature because, “Some experience in nature is better than none, and more is better than some.”

Although Louv is not anti-tech, he does promote a form of multi-tasking. There’s a way to vacillate both the digital world and nature. He calls it the ‘hybrid mind’!

I am a huge proponent of having children (and adults) explore nature. The way nature adapts to all the stuff we throw at it such as chemicals and pollution is truly remarkable. Life goes on and regenerates and procreates itself endlessly. Nothing seems to go to waste in nature.

The best example of this to me was when I was in Africa and witnessed it first hand. There had been a ‘kill’ and within 30 minutes the buzzards were circling to indicate it so. By the time we got to it an hour later the two lions were chased away by a growing pack of hyenas. They destroyed the carcass of a wildebeest and when we came back an hour later, the buzzards were finishing up plucking any remaining flesh off the bones. From living animal to fresh raw bones in less than 3 hours, nothing went to waste!

For children, they seem fascinated by animals of all sorts and their habits. My children took to watching All Kratt’s Creatures and Steve Irwin along with several animal shows. Anytime spent in the woods, we would discover things animals had done. A beaver falling a tree. A feathered spot where a hawk had eaten its bird prey. The slime trails of slugs. Some deer horns that had been broken off. Burrowed holes and mounds made by moles. Birds’ nests with eggs. And on it would go. They were fascinated and curious enough to want to learn more. Watching special shows on TV and reading animal, bird and plant books feed their curiosity and thirst for knowledge. Appreciation comes from experiencing their environment for themselves.

In my first book, Confessions of a Weekend Dad, I have various stories that involve nature and the great outdoors and what impact this has had on my sons and their life experiences. Some of their seminal moments and more profound lessons came as a result of exploring nature. I basically banned electronic devices (at our summer place) and this policy is what I believe helped to ground my children in today’s ever manipulated man made world. Remember, that almost twenty years ago, the internet and cell phones were in their infancy and its only been this latest generation that’s been born into it.

Unfortunately, parents are not regulating their children’s screen time. To me, that’s simply irresponsible and negligent. Children are now becoming addicted to all sorts of digital traps and the professionals are only just now starting to see patterns and the social and physical stigmas and problems emerging. Depression and lack of communication skills are becoming more prevalent.

It’s incumbent upon us adults, to ensure that the entertainment factor of our wonderful and exciting digital world doesn’t drown out the soothing and meditative vibe of nature. Children are lacking in introspection because they have seemingly become dependent upon stimulation to think. Most of their thinking is reactive to digital visual stimulation, rather than by meditative inward deep thinking.

As parents, we have an obligation to ensure our children get their nature dose! Not all man made things are the be-all, end-all. As with most things, they should be enjoyed more in moderation. Moderation and balance is the key in life. Otherwise, obsessive-compulsive behavior takes over and what becomes a habit, can soon become an addiction. On the other hand, a good dose of nature will clear our heads and stifle the digital noise to make way for free-thinking. The zen vibe of turning inwards with nature, is even more important for this new digital generation. Without an introduction to nature, a lot can be lost. And not to experience nature, is depravation at its worst.

And now for the tips to awaken and sharpen the lost senses in all of us. Try these out with your kids and yourself!

Tips for accommodating more nature:

1) Put Nature on the Calendar. Plan a hike, a picnic or even hang out at the park or your own back yard. Make it a date, just like you would to attend a soccer game.

2) Be the Guide on the Side. When outdoors with the kids, retreat a little. Let them explore and discover the cool stuff for themselves. Encourage them to ask questions and figure out answers. Let them become curious observers sharing their sense of wonder.

3) Enliven the Senses. Awaken the senses by focusing on one at a time while the others are blocked out. Have kids crawl on their bellies to experience the earth close-up. Get them to sniff the pine needles or wildflowers. Listen to the sounds of nature, the rustling leaves, the ebb and flow of the tide, or the hum of bees. Taste the salt water or eat wild berries.

4) Seek Positive Places with Negative Ions. You can’t see or smell negative ions but when they’re inhaled and reach the blood stream, they are known to boost serotonin levels, which in turn, alleviates depression. Natural settings with plant life and water, beaches, streams, waterfalls are rich in negative ions.

5) Bathe in the Forest. Japan has a movement known as ‘Shinrin-yoku’ or forest bathing and it involves a relaxed walk in lush woods and it has a measureable calming effect with restorative benefits. It’s a welcomed retreat from the pollution and chemicals of city life.

6) Discover the Art of Nature. Pressed leaves and flowers, sculptures made of sticks, and rocks, daisy chains, painting with mud or the juices of wild berries. Tracing the sun’s shadows, percussion instruments from shells, sticks or logs. Let the imagination run wild.

7) Pick a Sit Spot. It could be the lower branch of a tree, a corner in the garden, or on a boulder by a stream. Encourage family members to frequent a favorite spot to contemplate life in a form of meditation and calmness. Observe the changes of the different seasons with respect to light, temperature, wind, bugs, birds and inhabitants of nature.

8) Teach Tree Climbing Smarts. This mainstay of child activity hones balance, strength, agility, co-ordination and sense of limited risk. However, over protective and anxious parents forbid this to the detriment of child development. Be prepared to ‘catch’ a falling child but don’t deny the chance to learn and explore their capacities.

9) High Tech Can be High Nature. Set aside specific days for escaping technology or expand its use. Design a photo scavenger hunt where they have to use their Go-pro or smartphone to take pictures and/or record the sounds of nature.

This blog was inspired by an article that appeared in Metro Life, (a free Vancouver daily newspaper). Practically all of the “Tips” were quoted verbatim from that source.

The key take away is to get out of the house, off the street, out of town and just rest, listen, smell, and absorb. Nature is way more active than you think and it’s more calming and relaxing than you can imagine. Enjoy the great outdoors with your kids and you will bond, learn more and grow with them.

Photo found on UberHumor.com

Once again, parents are failing at their jobs. They are failing to train their children to have manners. There is nothing worse than having ungrateful children who are rude and disrespectful, in public, all because their parents didn’t take the time to ‘train’ them properly. Manners are not an inherent thing. Manners are a learned behavior. And yes, it takes some effort and a bit of work. But having grateful, thoughtful, well-mannered children is a badge of pride for any parent. Manners are a habit best started when they’re young.

I take a certain pride in knowing that I took the time to train my children and teach them proper table manners that ultimately carried over to everyday life. As a parent, it’s very rewarding to hear someone comment on how well mannered one’s children are. It‘s a high compliment indeed but as they grow older, it becomes a reflection of who they are and their appreciation for even the simplest of acts.

I have covered this area somewhat in my Blog # 9 : Gratitude In The Age of Entitlement. It’s worthy of a read and/or a re-read. I also delve into it a bit in my three series blog # 15, 16 and 17 entitled : Breaking Bad : Parents Gone Wrong!

Why am I touching on this subject again so early after Blog # 17? Because of two reasons. One is, you can never go wrong teaching a great habit, especially gratitude and manners. And secondly, I recently read an article in a Vancouver daily paper (24 Hrs), that was written by a mother – Bianca Bujan. It was entitled – “Teach Your Kids Some Manners, Please!”. No kidding! Her sub-title was – “Some parents think kids will learn manners on their own. Those parents are wrong.” So glad to hear that, and coming from a Mom too.

It all started when Bianca received a compliment from a server when she’d taken her three children for dinner. “What polite children you have!” And why? Because they were so well behaved and respectful and thankful. Bianca knows that “Their politeness is a result of ongoing reminders, discussion, repetition and modified behavior, and I truly believe that all the hard work will pay off in the end.” It does. Just read the end of this blog if you’re impatient for an example.

Apparently Bianca’s article was spurred on by a mother’s having shared a post on Facebook where by she confessed to being ‘worst mom ever’ after a Dairy Queen visit with her kids. She witnessed in horror how her children behaved while being handed their ice-cream cones. How did she deal with that? She simply went over and grabbed the cones out of their hands and tossed them into the trash. Then she gave them the lecture they were obviously well over due for. Good for her! I applaud that style of parenting. Why? Because its emphatic with consequences that are immediate with no discussion. Well, not until after they’ve been forced to realize what they’ve done. And the lesson has more meaning than just tip-toeing rhetoric.

Then as typical internet behavior, this mother was chastised by internet moms saying she was hurting her children by strictly enforcing manners. Their attitude and advice was “that children be left to their own devices, that if children don’t want to say those words, they shouldn’t have to. They believe that children will learn politeness naturally in their own time.” Good luck with that! Bad habits unchecked by tolerant or lazy parents will continue. By not intervening and correcting poor behavior, those parents are enabling their children. Women who tolerate alcoholic husbands and their behavior are actually accepting it and thereby enabling that behavior. Likewise with parents of poor mannered children.

As Bianca says “Children are born with a wealth of intuitive abilities, but politeness is not one of them. We teach our children how to brush their teeth before they know how a cavity works, and the same should be applied to politeness. Teach them to say ‘please’ now, and they’ll thank you for it later.” I couldn’t agree more.

A few years ago a friend of my wife’s brought up her two children to our summer place and I was aghast at the lack of table manners the children displayed. They came to the table late when asked, hadn’t washed their hands, they just dove in before waiting, and they asked for things without saying please or thank you. They had an absent father who was living in the States. I just had to intervene. I warned them they had to use the P and T words or I wouldn’t respond. When they wanted something on the table, I never responded unless it came with a ‘please’ and if I gave them what they asked for, I took it back if I didn’t hear a ‘thank you’. Their mother soon caught on and she played the same game. Before they left after several days, they were already getting into the habit. So you see, it is a learned behavior from encouragement, not something that comes naturally.

Here is an example of good manners and expressed gratitude. My youngest son was replying to a job posting on the internet but he decided to deliver his resume in person to a top known bank on the east coast. He was so impressed with the assistance the girl at the front counter offered him, he was elated. After leaving, he realized that he hadn’t really thanked her for all her assistance and going the extra mile in trying to get him to meet the HR person.

He immediately returned and made an apology for not thanking her, then thanked her profusely. She in turn was so impressed that he actually returned to thank her that she went out of her way to get him an interview for the following day. Even though he aced the interview, the job was given to someone more qualified. However, even the interviewer was so impressed with his determination, manners and gratitude, that they actually identified his qualities as being those that they wanted for their tellers. They then created a full time summer teller position and hired him to commence the following week! How’d you like those manners?

Now as a parent, I know my work paid off. I’ve always encouraged gratitude and instilled and drilled in manners but it was my son’s own doing that he took it to another level, that was in turn, well rewarded.

The lesson here…Manners matter! But they are not something that just happens. Parents…develop ways to encourage and reward good manners. Who doesn’t like well behaved children and polite and grateful people? Get with the program. And if you’re too lazy to make an effort, then those misbehaved, ungrateful kids, people may be talking about, they may just be yours! And that’s on you!

No one wants to talk about this medical procedure but if you’re having a baby and there’s a chance it could be a boy, you need to prepare for the question. To cut or not to cut, that is the question. If you are Jewish or Muslim, it’s not much of a choice. It appears both these cultures promote this procedure as some form of religious tradition.

According to Wikipedia, “Approximately one-third of males worldwide are circumcised, most often for religious or cultural reasons.” It’s most prevalent in the Muslim world, Israel, South Korea, the U.S. and parts of Southeast Asia and Africa.

I recently watched a Seinfeld episode involving circumcision and the parents wanted Jerry (as the Godfather) to hold the child while the Jewish mohel did the cutting. There were all these invited guests who’d come to watch. Kramer attempted to rescue the baby from what he perceived to be a barbaric procedure. The whole thing was a spoof on a seemingly antiquated ritual.

I find that America is promoting this procedure, like most cultures, from questionable perspectives. Incredulously, British and American doctors began recommending circumcision primarily as a deterrent to masturbation. Really?! Back then, prior to the 20th century, masturbation was believed to be the cause of a wide range of physical and mental illnesses including among other things epilepsy, paralysis, impotence, feeblemindedness and insanity! Apparently, with all these modern sex shops and online stores selling dildos and vibrators, you no longer need question why there’s so many crazy people out there!

Circumcision was the magic cure promoted to reduce masturbation for men and Lewis Sayre, founder of the American Medical Association, used it “as a purported cure for several cases of young boys diagnosed with paralysis or significant motor problems…and that excessive stimulation of the genitals was a disturbance to the equilibrium of the nervous system and a cause of systemic problems.” Really?! Good to know the American Medical Association was founded on such sound beliefs.

Wikipedia claims that…“Behavioral effects have been observed following circumcision including changes in sleep patterns, irritability, changes in feeding, and parental bonding. Some men who were circumcised as an infant involuntary described their feelings about the procedure using the terms ‘violation, torture, mutilation and sexual assault.’” What else does a caring parent need to know? It’s widely believed that there are no known true benefits for the procedure except for specific cases involving medical conditions or abnormalities that occur later in life.

Personally, I don’t believe it’s a decision any parent should make on their own. Anti-abortionists claim the unborn has rights, so why aren’t they standing up for the rights of the newly born. Shouldn’t they have a say in what happens to their private parts? It’s got to be the toughest call to make, so why make it at all? I’m not overly religious but my logic on this one is, if God didn’t want a foreskin on men, then why did he give us one? Contradicting that however, is the proclamation that “male circumcision is mandatory, as it is prescribed in the Torah.” I’m sure most cultures who promote circumcision have ancient beliefs that claim – “It is written.”

I think a lot of North American woman have a pre-disposition or preference to the ‘cut’ look. It seems more ‘fashionable’ to know what’s under the hood. The circumcision procedure’s prevalence in the US ranges from 58% to 64% from surveys taken in the 80’s through to 2010. It also appears that in most North American porn videos, that upwards of 90% of the males are circumcised. For women who watch, their expectations and preferences are likely conditioned choices to what they’ve witnessed.

One factor that’s not mentioned in Wikipedia nor has likely been part of any study, is that a lot of men want their child to be like them. I’ll guess that if a father is circumcised, that he will likely want to have his son circumcised too. And quite likely, the opposite holds true. “Like father, like son!”

Having been an active team sports athlete, I’ve been exposed to a lot of penises in the locker rooms and showers. From my observations, most circumcised men have scar tissue that forms a ring around their penis that’s slightly discolored. Is this an area of their penis that’s desensitized, as most scar tissue is? Who knows. I do believe, however, that when they get an erection, they are limited to how much that skin can stretch. It only stands to reason that if its already been reduced, that deleted ‘extra’ skin may play a part in the length and size of a comfortable erection. It appears that an uncircumcised penis has a lot more room to grow before the skin is stretched to discomfort. There are no medical statistics to support this, but it is a theory I believe the medical profession might consider for yet another statistical study.

I’m not bashful in sharing with you that I wasn’t circumcised. But I also feel there’s a unique situation in my case. Both my mother and father insisted that whenever I urinated that I pull back my foreskin all the way. This I did from a very young age until sometime into my puberty, when I didn’t need to do it anymore. Do the math on this and you’ll realize that’s a hell of a lot of foreskin training! None of my past lovers or three wives had any clue that I wasn’t circumcised. Why? Because I have a trained and retracted foreskin which has the appearance of a circumcision but without the medical intervention. I have the ‘look’ but without the scar. I’m clean cut without being cut. I think my parents were onto something that more doctors or parents could implement to eliminate the circumcision conundrum and satisfy those future lovers preferring the convertible model.

My advice for any parent facing the “to cut or not to cut” question? Witness a procedure and ask yourself if you want to subject your newborn to this rather personal, very intrusive and painful procedure when there’s really no proven benefits to support it. Also, allow the father to have the deciding vote, if it’s a tie. When it comes to the equipment, you want the equipment manager to be handling those decisions. It surely is a gender thing. And after all this, if its just too overwhelming, try the 3rd “training” option because it worked for me and my two brothers and several others I’ve had this discussion with.